Bye bye Malliza, Zaki n baby Zane..  our dearie friends now on their way to new life.. we wish u all the best and happiness in new place n new life.. definitely we’re gonna miss u (after this tepon rumah kami dah tak berbunyi lah~~)

no more class for me for this year though thousands of words need to type and submit early next year.. *sigh*

what makes my day for every single day is these faces :

p/s: congratulations to SITI SHARINI & ABG BEDER for welcoming an additional member to your family;MUHAMMAD HAIKAL . Wish both of you all the best in becoming a parent.

some videos taken from my phone

Elyas mula-mula berjalan

Sembang pagi-pagi

Elyas masa pagi Adi ke Istanbul

Elyas dengki

Elyas shopping di tesco

AMARAN : JIKA TIDAK MAHU BACA LUAHAN PERASAAN SAYA YANG TELAH DIULANG-ULANG BANYAK KALI SILA PERGI KE LAMAN WEB LAIN YANG LEBIH MENARIK SEPERTI GOSSIP ARTIS, YOUTUBE DAN SEBAGAINYA.

ku sangka panas hingga ke petang, rupanya panas di tengah hari

my swing mood come again (T_T)

my chest feels really heavy, i lost my focus, i just feels moody and not motivated at all!

i was really tired yesterday (friday) after 2 weeks continuously classes..so motivation already really dead low!! then,my close cousin was getting married yesterday and the reception was today; so just imagine all the big family gathered together, and we are here far away from home. i felt so lonely and miss the gathering like when i was in malaysia last summer. then, pap!! Adi told me another bad news (for us), our closest friends here are moving to Abu Dhabi immediately!! there are going back to malaysia in two weeks!!

my head already mess with 15,000 (plus another 5000 for 1 more module early Dec)  words learning logs that i need to submit this january, plus i hate my job! i applied a job at Pri*mark but unfortunately no vacancy available now. i dont wanna work anymore because i’m too tired but we need money. i hate uk’s tv esp virg*in tv.. boriiiinngggggg (????)

i wanna cry~~

people say one thing lead to another. this situation (feelings) make me feel that i’m not the same person 2 years ago! i become a boring person, dull, cannot communicate properly with other people, lone ranger. I AM LIVING IN MY SMALL BOX!! i dont have close friends at class like i used to have (eventhough when i were in japan i have a few close japanese friends), because i change my working hours to saturday which is very busy day; i dont have time to talk with other staffs like i used to have a good talk with the older (mostly can be my mum, so they are really gentle n nice, that makes me feels like i have ‘mums’ here) check-outs when I do weekdays hours. although i have a few close friends but somehow me myself put a ‘barrier’ that makes me hard to have ‘deep’ talk and loosen up with them like when i was with my previous close friends from padang tembak to okayama. n i dunno what i’m doing everyday that makes me feels i dont have time to read other people blogs or facebooks or msg/calls anymore, even my parents . maybe some people will say that I make myself become a boring person. i try to become more flexible, try to enjoy my life but sometimes i think too much (i like to drown myself with problems and keep thinking and thinking about them).. right now i’m scared and stress;

i’m scared about i cant do my master properly.

i’m scared that i will let my parents down.

i’m scared that we dont have enough money with my salary less than 1/3 than before. (money..money..money)

i’m scared to think what to do after i finish my course cause i not doing anything to looking for a job yet.

i’m scared that at some stage we have to send elyas back to malaysia because of money and no one can take care of him while we are busy with our studies.

i’m scared that i become very weak and just give up.

i’m stress about doing school works, endless house loads, entertain elyas and Adi, working to support our life.. i am stress!!

tonight i just wanna cry and cry and cry and wish for brighter day tomorrow

tak tau nak tulis apa.. tgh sangap gile.. elyas tido, adi pulak balik dari istanbul esok.. dahlah cepat gelap, kul 4.35 dah magrib.. tv dah lah boring.. dah lah kena buat lagi satu learning log.. aduiii penin2.. pape pun ni utk tok-toks elyas

eiii.. gediknya dengar suara ku gelak!!!

these pics and video were taken the day after we hosted open house, so buat-buat tak nampak ajelah semak samun tu..selalu rumah kami tak macam tu, bersih kemas berkilat… hehehhe

just watched supernanny, so i just copy the title and change it to supermummy since I came back to UK I can count my updated posts using only one hand..err.. JUST 5? and they all short!! hohoho.. busy mummy!

as some of you already knew, I started my course last week. basicly, I’m taking taught MSc which I need to take 8 modules. 1 module is one week; 9am till 5pm.. and just finished my second module today which mean I just had 2 weeks straight 9am-5pm classes!! after 2 years having break from study-thinggy, sitting in a lecture room and listening to british-english with lots of advance vocabulary while watching lots and lots of slides (actually I just looking with empty brain ) is really makes me exhausted at the end of the day (for everyday not just on friday)!! well my new routine (when I have module) is:

7.00-7.10 –  wake up, subuh, take a shower

Elyas already wake up while I’m taking my shower

7.30-8.10 –  ready, makes lunch box, eat breakfast, do some cleaning (kitchen), layan my cheeky boy

8.10am – out from house to bus stop

usully bus comes at 8.15~8.20 and arrive at uni around 8.50~8.55

9am – 5pm – lectures

takes bus around  ~5.10 and arrive home ~5.40pm

5.40-6.15 – solat, cooking, shower (if have time)

6.15-7.00pm –  dinner & dinner time for elyas too

Adi start his part-time at 7 so around 6.40pm he must out or else he’ll be late.

7.00- 8.00 - clean the dishes & kitchen, change elyas clothes, give milk, solat, cooks elyas food for tomorrow, put dirty clothes in washing machine

8.00 onwards – elyas sleep time and usually I switch off together-gether with elyas( so it is rare to see me stay late like this; 12midnight UK time)

although I sleep early but because Elyas still wakes up in the middle of the night and sometimes he wakes up many times ( my sleep training still not successful!!) so I can’t wake up too early and have happy mood with enough rest + sleep.

as you can see, my schedule is packed in limited time so I need to be really good in multitasking and it makes me feels like a superwoman!! but still not enough because I still not doing my uni homework!! I have 2 learning logs (1 for each module) contain 5000 words each to write and I only wrote 100words so far!!

Okay, enough about me. now I write about elyas’ milestones.

My cheeky boy is going to be 10 mths-ol in two days He now can stand up on his own (from sit down position) and stay for quite a long time AND just today he have courage to walk 1 or 2 steps!!!! so excited !!! next time I’ll post his video/pics. He just had 9mths-12mths development check up with health visitor early this week and she said everything fine, he’s progressing as he suppose to. now, we just need to sleep training properly (= tahan dengar dia melalak & bersedia if polis ketuk pintu lagi) him so he can sleep by himself and sleep through the night which we still fail to do so

currently I’m really into print & organise my ol’ pics when I was in Japan. While browsing the cd suddenly I notice that I kinda missing 1 pic folder which contained the pics of we’re went camping at Naoshima in 2004. And to recall my pics, I entered my fotopages (after agessss stop using it) and then I realise that my pics before  Jun 2005 were gone!!!! I am really sure that I opened  the account long before that and already uploaded tons and tons of pictures. Huhuhuhu (T_T) I’ve delete some entries so hopefully my old entries will re-appear ..

Today, I received a weird email from someone that I dont even know. I copy-paste the email;

hi, nme sye ct asl klng.. sye amik email awk kt paper brta hrian… tgh wt pe2?

Actually this is my SECOND time I’ve got email from strangers who found my email from newspaper. The first one was a guy and he got my email from Sala*m Perantaua*n (SP) Utu$an last year. That also creepy (for me) because from a huge bunch of cute and comelss girls inside 30 days++ SP edition, he picked me which I sent my pic with Adi and heavily pregnant!!!  I’m totally shock when I read this new email because this year I didn’t sent any sala*m aidilfitri to any newspaper. and I wonder how she got my email add? by google my name ? full name? first name (which is common in malaysia)? my online name? It is different when a stranger read my blog which is quite public space for anybody to read. For me email is my-private-space, and one more thing that u should know about me;I’m a bit friendly but NOT THAT FRIENDLY to reply a message/email from unknown and since I being a wife n mother (and my life is only involve around me = boring) I be more passive and private-person.

scarryyyy

KNOCK-KNOCK..

“I’ve got a call from somebody saying that there is screaming in this house. I can clearly hear now that it is actually your baby screaming right now. Do you mind if I come in just to check? Just to be sure”

HOH??????? TERGEZUT BERUK MOK CIK POLIS DTG KETUK PINTU SBB ADA ORANG REPORT BABY DEN MELALAK!!

Tgh kemas-kemas umah sbb buat open house arini.. dan Elyas pun tgh nangis2 sbb ngantuk (btw he’s bit cranky for the whole week; thanks to fever + cold virus).. kebetulan pulak tingkap tak tutup lagi so ada orang report dengar baby nangis.

Elyas.. Elyas.. janganlah nangis banyak-banyak sayang. Nanti kalau Mama ngan Abah kena tangkap ngan polis sapa nak tengok Elyas kat sini?

THANX TO ALL WHO CAME TO OUR OPEN HOUSE.. SPECIAL THANK YOU TO MALLIZA+ZAKI, MYRA+ADDI, ANIS & NA WHO WERE VERY HELPFUL AS CO-HOST.

Salam aidilfitri semua…

Lama jugak tak ngapdet blog nih.. last update masa raya, tu pun pendek aje. saje je nak ngapdet aktiviti-aktiviti saya supaya teman-teman masih teringatkan saya nih.. hehehe

• until last week, sibuk ngan keje kat b*&q.. penat giler sbb dah lama tak kilija.. kul 9-10pm je dah pengsan..tapi la ni cuti sebulan
• dah mula register for uni “I’M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!!! KOWAAIIIIIII”
• busy mem-print gambar2 masa kat nihon dulu mula dari 2003- punyalah berzaman!!!
• elyas selsema since 2nd day raya. then, demam since monday = tak tido mlm le Mama dia jaga anak yang sakit
• settling with being a mom,a wife,a student and kuli batak b*&q = hardwork & stressful job (blom start kelas dah stress.. hahaha… aduiiii berdebar pulak pikir nak blajar nih)
• buat open house this sunday , jemputlah datang